Randomness in the Life of a Fool

This is my first time here! Gee, it's so neat! I have another couple of sites Korinaly Neko Baka is my main site, where I put a lot of my links and fun stuff.
Bittersweet Studios is my art gallery. And Amhelaki Misadventures is my online comic. I haven't updated Amhelaki for a while, sorry.

But it's sort of late out, like one am! And I have an 8:30 class! My parents came over to my dorm today, and brought me an air cleaner, so that I don't have more allergy problems.

Well, that's enough for today! I'll be sure to be on again!

heh, it was really foggy last night. yeah, I'm supposed to be doing my English essay, but I can't get onto the little site thing that let's me see the essay topics. I forgot the password, stupid me.

Ack, I'm feeling really lazy. I got to study for Art History, and do this presentation for Film, and not to mention the essays. And I should re-scan my comic pages and put them up, but there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to DO everything!

meh, what do I feel like doing? I'm not sure. I want a nice book, but I can't find the public library. I want to draw, but then I feel guilty about not doing my work. And yet, there doesn't seem like anything that I can do. meh meh meh! I don't really feel like anything!

ARGGGGGGGGGG!!!! I should be doing something!

And I shouldn't be falling asleep in class...darn 8: 30 classes!

Where's my day planner? I need some direction, but not from my mom! She called me this morning, waking me up at the same time, and whined at me to go to the special needs offices. She even emailed them! The nerve! meh, I can't stay mad at her. She's like this all the time whenever she comes over and I'm not living the same way that she does.

See, she's a teacher and I'm a writer/artist, so our lifestyles don't match. Meh, what can I do?

Anyhow, it's 3 pm now, and I feel like pulling out my day planner and trying to figure out how I can be productive today and not waste my budget.

YAH!!! I did something productive today!!!! mesa so happy!!!!!
I found that stupid code for the side, and I have a pretty good idea of what my topic for my English essay is now. And I sent in the cover for the student journal thingie! Also! I figured out how to use the FTP program, and the html for my site, and so I got to update!!!!!!!!!

Also, I went and had some sugar, can't you tell? he heh!! gee, this is my third entry for today. Can we say, obsessed? Maybe it's because it's easier to update this way that with neko no baka, but I like neko no baka because it's MINE!!!!!! my site! all mine!!!!!!! muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

*ahem* so, yeah, I'm feeling really good about myself now. Even though I have no social life... **Sighs** oh, yes, my parents have to remind me of that. Mom called and she goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and I think you get the point...

well, anyways, it's about twelve am now, and although I'm having a wonderful chat with my boyfriend Jon, I think I need to go to bed.

OH!!!!! GUESS WHAT WE HAD FOR DINNER????!!!!!! Chicken fingers and fries!!!!! My favourite now!!!!! It just needs some ice cream, and I'll be in heeeeaaaaven!!!!! yummy... **drools**

Well, bye bye!

~Kori
May your life be Interesting

let me put it this way; I haven't gone trick-or-treating in four years, and now I'm in university, and I'm missing it soooooooooooooo much!!

It gets me so depressed! Waahhhhh!

And now, for a complete mood swing...
I signed up to go see the Matrix on Friday, so I don't have to sit here in the dorm, trying to ignore that crowds of children across the street getting their yearly loot. And now I've found out that they're allowed to come in the rez and we can hand out treats!!! **false joy** blah, I'd probably eat all the candy myself, and wouldn't that be good for my weight! **sighs** My mom is being a meanie again. Well, I sort of can understand how she feels like she needs to push me to do my work. I have two essays (and a presentation that I didn't tell her about) that I have to do in two weeks, and I've hardly started. Wheeeee! Isn't university fun? meh, so she's being my personal aide. meh meh meh!!! I'm soooooooooo tempted to unplug my phone! She's even giving me wake-up calls and was practically calling me about once an hour. Now she's gone to bed, and I think that she expects the same of me.

Meh meh meh. For some reason, I like that word. Meh. hehe heh. I was thinking about how much fun it would be to spell words as they sounded. Like, Double-you double-you double-you dot gee-oh cities dot com. **giggles** Yes, I'm silly. No, I'm not on something.

ummmm, what else can I say? Oh, I was productive today during Art History. I wrote fanfic, when I couldn't stand to look up anymore. I suppose that Professor Stone thinks that I'm taking lots of notes and stuff. Little does she know... heh heh heh

hmmmm, I sort of organized my schedule for the next four weeks. gack, why do I have to be so disabled? It's fun, cause there's all sorts of neat programs and stuff, but everything becomes so hard sometimes! Does anyone understand me? Don't Ignore Me!!!

**points to above** total random mood swing. Yeah, it will happen. It's why I'm on mood stablizers/anti-depressants/anti-anxiety pills. meh meh meh!!! Fun!!!! Anyone else who has ADD, LD and Asperger Syndrome? or one of the above?

Hmmm, my head feels funny. Maybe I should go to bed. Maybe...

Have I actually done anything else that's productive? Oh, I started looking at those poems for English. Fun poems, reminds me of my own. Which reminds me, I have a book that I want to write in poetry. It's about my life. I want to be a novelist, so bite me.

Don't bite me!!
**Wacks head** whatever...

No, I don't think that I have some personality disorder, why do you ask? ...

lol, I love to mess with people's heads. It makes me feel like other people can be as messed up as me! The things that goes on in my head **shakes head** don't ask, please don't ask, I can't explain...

A neat freak's worst nightmare.

To put it lightly

I think that I've been reading too much poetry
don't you think?
meh

Oh, let's see, what else can I say about this day? My uncle stopped by with the movies that I'm going to be using in my Film essay. Yahhh! Comparing Rashomon to Clueless. Japanese vs American!!! DUN dun DUN!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! ^^

meh, I want to draw now, and not have to think too hard.

~Korina
May your life be interesting...

just thought that I'd actually put something here...

It's late, and I should be in bed cause I have essays to do, but I can never figure out how to go to bed before 1:00 am

~Korina

May your life be interesting...

mehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmeh
mehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmeh!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


don't ask, please don't ask, cause I don't know myself!

I'm tired, it's 1:10 in the morning. For some reason, I can't bring myself to go to bed until morning. I don't know... Anyways, I had a great time in Film Studies. It was about gender in film today (or yesterday), and it was sort of interesting. Maybe part of it was that I took more pills than I usually do (like, my full dosage), but I paid attention a lot. That and it's an interesting topic, you know. meeeeeeeeh!

I tried to do some more work on my essays, and I'm getting there... sloooooooooooooooooowy! And I tried to do some page goodies stuff on Amhelaki Misadventures, but I dunno whether it worked... meh meh, I need meds.

I'm tired. yes, yes I am. I should go to bed. yes, yes I should.

meh

goodnight
~Korina


May your life be interesting...

meh, I was just reviewing some materials for my Film Studies class that starts in a bit, and I realized something that strikes me as sort of odd. See, yesterday we viewed The Acussed in class and there's a rape scene in it.
Well, what disturbed me was that I watched it without being sickened, 'cause I've seen worse. That's disturbing. I think that I've been watching too much anime... you kind of get used to weird shit.

Anyways, I'm supposed that I should be working on my English, but I think that I'll work on it tonight. You know, take some pills, stay up late, cause I have Fridays off. I went and bought a university hoody. Meh, there goes my budget for the week. And I still need to buy those Christmas presents! oy! EKKKKK!!! Too much to do! I'm feeling slightly stressed on the edges. I'm working on keeping panic attacks down, and just a while ago as I was checking out this site, I swear that I dreamt doing that exact thing, and in exact detail. It's more that deja vu! It's scary!!!

Hm? Oh, yeah, it's scary cause it hasn't happened in a while. I get some really weird dreams, like fighting dragons and stuff, so I don't really think about my dreams, unless they get seriously weird and start repeating. Then I think about them for a while, and then forget them. Until they come back to bite me in the butt!

hmmm, I've been doing a whole bunch of quizes, but I'm not sure that I want to put them up yet. Whaahahaha! *ahem*

I'm starting to write my book of poetry on my life with Asperger Syndrome. It's sort of hard to write the author's note. Once I get that out of the way, I can pull up all those old journal entries from waaaaay back and turn them into poetry!! aDn then get them published and get a bunch of awards and get rich and famous and then give lots and lots of money to charity!!!!!! my goal in life, ladies and gentlemen! wheeeee! I think I need some espresso...again...

meh, g2g
~Korina

All right, I'm trying something out while I'm stressing over my essays. I'm trying to see how long I can stay awake and the effects thereof. What got this idea in my head? A thread in the Kagerou Forum. Here's my post that I did there:

Okay, I'm sort of trying my own version of this. I'm trying to see how long I can stay awake as well as write something like three essays and this story. Also, I'm thinking of doing my own test version of NaNoWriMo, where I might actually sign up, but I'm only in the thinking stage. (whee, all the story ideas bouncing in me head!) oh, and I'm writing poetry.

Okay, since I'm ADD, guess what medication I'm on. Heh heh, Ritalin. So, I have both types of Ritalin in my possession, the short release and the long release. I got a coffee maker, and I have a few days for this. I really don't expect to get very far. I'll try again maybe next term, when I have no classes on Mondays AND Friday. Anyways, so far, I've been up since 7: 30 am Thursday, October 30, 2003. It's 1:04 am now, so in a couple of hours I'll be over the 24 hour mark. Now, usually I start seeing little sparkly lights when I stay up late, but I've already have had that and am getting a headache. This is pretty normal for when I stay up late. I just took some pills: Ritalin, a sip of cold black coffee, ibuprofen, and my "happy pills" as I call them. What? They're smilie-face yellow and are mood swings, anxiety and depression. Hmm, maybe I should mention that I'm one of those ADD kids with Anxiety, as well as Asperger Syndrome, allergies, anemia and asthma. I figure as long as I don't mix my iron with my ritalin, I'll be fine. (the last time I did something like that, I had panic attacks).

OKay, let's see now. I've basically just had a shower to loosen up a little. I transfered the last remaining shampoo to my little travel sized bottle, mixing the pink stuff that was already there with the green stuff I'd just finished. And somehow, it's given me an idea for Kagerou fanart, but I'm not going to try and draw it in my present state. Hmm, what else?

Oh yes, I'm going to post what's going on here, if anything interesting happens. Maybe I should mention that the night before, I didn't get to sleep until three... Anyways, not only am I going to be posting this here, but on one (note: I said one, meaning I have more ^^) of my blogs. www.tabulas.com/~Zika_Silver1/ There, I'll post there, cause I don't think I can handle using html on my others.

'K, back to work.
~Neko Baka

Yeah, I'm known as Neko Baka there. Anyways, I need to do somemore work on the essays of DOOM!!!!! ohhhh, my spelling is going to HELL!!! meh!

Wish me luck!

~Korina
"may your life be interesting..." -Mercedes Lackey

right, I'm still awake. Just wanted ppl to know that I won't be posting my logs of sleep deprivation on the shared journals... well, except maybe coffeeshop, hyperblog and psycho_people. or maybe not... I dunno.


Not much as happened, just observing stuff and trying to work. No poetry yet, meh...

~Korina

more from the forum...

okay, it's been about two hours.

I noticed when I was going to dump out my used coffee grounds that my music could be heard about half-way down the hall. Hm, that's right, I live in a dorm. Meh, my room used to be the laundry room, until they did renovations.
In terms of thinking, I'm not doing too bad. Yeah, some of the finer bits are blurry, like thinking of synonyms. But I'm being very careful with my writing. I think it's the Ritalin. I'm very focused, in a giddy sort of way. But that's what happens when you take Ritalin with coffee. Another side effect that I'm feeling is a bit ill in the stomache. I'm hungry too, but since I only decided to do this at about eleven o'clock pm, all I have is a pack of gum and two soft apples that my grandma gave me, and coffee. Coffee and sugar and powered milk.

I looked up Thesaurus in the Thesaurus for some non apparent reason. It's a noun for wordfinder, wordbook, synonym dictionary/lexicon; rare synonymy.

Oh yes, now I remember why I like staying up late so much! I do some of my best writing then. meh, sometimes.

kind of dizzy, and I'm shaking.

~Neko Baka

edit: oh, I just noticed... I'm not a fish head anymore... I'm a Grasshopper... when did that happen? ...


I forgot to mention; I'm slightly flushed in the face.

hmmm, the sensation of breathing is ...interesting right now. I'm taking deep breaths, I think my heart is pounding. Feeling flushed. chill? is it the room, or me?

I'm still doing essays. And doing pretty well, I have to say.

drinking coffee... starting to taste bitter in my mouth, well, like whenever you drink a lot of coffee black and suddenly there's no taste!

I have the feeling that if I lie down on my bed, I will pass out right away. I will not lie on my bed. Look! I still care about spelling, and can type! and I'm fixing my mistakes, whoopie! I'm catching them though. Hmm, I'm not sure whether it means anything, but it's harder to remember how to spell some words. I had that problem before, but...

that's all for now

~Korina

Alright, it's just after six am here. Hmm, I went and brushed my teeth. That woke me up a bit. For a while, other than my eyes hurting, I felt fine. I wandered the halls a little, refilled my waterbottles, flipped lazily through the newspaper, figured out why one part of the dorm is brighter at night than the other and checked out the construction area. (we're getting an atrium!!!!!)

Sort of bored. I think my last dose of Ritalin has worn off. Yeah, I don't feel like my heart is going to pound a hole in my chest or that edgy feeling of panic and anxiety. I've stopped shaking too. My eyes are blurring every once in a while. Staring at a screen probably isn't too good for them either. I feel sort of like when I go over to Britain on the overnight flight, which I never sleep on, and somehow I get used to the time change. meeep! where did that come from?

hm, about an hour and a half and I'll be up for 24 hours. I'm sort of in pain though. My eyes are hurting and the bridge of my nose is aching 'migrane'. Also, I'm getting these prickly chills that feels like a bunch of pins. I'm thinking that I'll take some Ibuprofen soon. I'm waiting until eight to take more Ritalin. This is my 'rest' period. Hmmm, what shall I do? gee, why isn't Amhelaki updating? I think I'll try to fix that. Hmmm, I should also sort my recycling. It's overflowing and tonight there's going to be little kids running around trick o treating. also, in a week there's some open house, and so we're all to let ppl see our rooms. meh, some thing sompletely off topic, I think that I'm going to see the Matrix tonight. hmm, won't that be interesting? I think that I'll have to get some sugar. Definitely a light dosage of ritalin...

oh wait! Matrix doesn't come out until next week... oops... time confusion...

that's all for now
~Neko Baka



I just realized, I'm still hungry. Maybe that's why I don't feel too good. hmm, another hour and a half, and I can eat! That's when breakfast is served at our dorm.
my mouth is dry.
I'm surprised that I can type properly still.


meh, my hair feels nice. I like it when I let it air dry. Noon, I'll take a shower and put some coloured hair gel in. Hallow'een, ya brats! oy...


I should put on some new music...

~Korina

heh, it's eight twelve in the morning. I've officially been awake for over 24 hours. I still got some chills going on, a migrane that I can feel coming on, and my eyes hurt. I don't suppose getting locked out my dorm helped any... I was looking for the recycling boxes... and forgot that I needed my keys... so I was outside for almost an hour. It was neat though, cause I got to watch the sunrise and it's not too cold out and I tore up some leaves. I came back in really hungry, and I just ate, so it's safe for me to take my usual dosage of Ritalin. And some Ibuprofen...

Not really sleepy, just dizzy and in pain. Kind of annoying. I got myself some crackers to carry me over in the afternoon. My goal is to get to Sunday night without sleep, cause I know that I'd fall alseep in class on Monday. I do it all the time...damn 8:30 classes.

Anyways, I'm going to wait a little while for my stomache to get used to food, and then take the pills. I think that if I can make it tonight, that I'll go practice flute. I haven't done that in a while...


oyyyyyyy, me head! me head! That's it! Where's the pills? I may be able to ignore my pain for some time, but after 24 hours, I want my painkillers.

~Korina

24 hours and still going strong!

I just did some calculations. I started this Thursday morning, 7:30 and I figure if I drop into bed at 7:30 Saturday night, then I would have stayed awake for 60 hours, or two and a half days. Am I right? I got some stuff lined up for me for this night. Hopefully I can get that English done, and most of the Film. I have Clueless to watch sometime (**sighs** I have to watch it sometime...) And I was thinking of doing some NaNoWriMo. I think that I said that already.

Then I got flute practice. My record is flute practice is one and a half hours @#%$. But that was when I was awake... oy... I'm going to have snacks this time. heh heh, I read the other posts about caffeine being bad for this. And I got through with coffee. (of course, I'm the type of person who can drink espresso and then half an hour be fast asleep...wait... now I think I know why... I can still think!) but yeah, in Canada it's illegal for clear soft drinks to have caffeine in them, so I figure I go get some mountain dew or sprite or ginger ale. I like ginger ale. me and my brother used it when we were kids to have burping contests. now I don't need it.

Sort of wish I had a roommate while I'm doing this, but then again, I'd probably drive them NUTS with my pacing. oh, I forgot to mention my pacing. Well, it wasn't really pacing. It was obsessive cleaning, cause if the desk is messy, then I can't work! I figure it's the Asperger Syndrome kicking in with the Ritalin. That and I crank up the music. on random, on repeat. I'm going to save more music to listen to. God! Why did I chose THIS weekend to do this?!!! HALLOWEEN!!! oh yes, I'm doing this because of my stupid essays. hmmm, I wonder whether I can write that Film Adaptation repesentation, the one that I'm asking for help with in band camp?

I've emptied my recycling! GOing to get my mail and clean my paint brushes. I think I'm going to paint my face with watercolours. Seriously, watercolours make the best face make-up, cause it's not toxic. At least, I don't think it is. nope, non-toxic. I've noticed how all the watercolour sets in art & craft stores are all from the same company. At least, in Canada they are. well, maybe not in actual art stores. The only art store that I know of is downtown, and Michel's arts and crafts is cheaper anyways, although the purfume upsets my allergies. Damn pollen! oh.... mood getting ...interesting... still good though, haven't totally flipped moods. No, wait, that's right, I start swearing whenever I:
1) get really upset,
2) stay up too late/ am sleep deprived.

if there's a third point, I can't remember it. I think it was that-time-of-the-month... which reminds me, IT should be starting soon, and if IT does, then I'm soooo dropping this. IT messes with me sleep enough as it is. hmmm, Matrix is next week... so I can spend money on food and ignore the kids outside as much as possible. And then rest of the dorm, for that matter. heh, as far as they know, I lock myself in my room to work all the time anyways. Half true. Just like being alone most of the time. I'm rambling, aren't I?

"Gives you a warm fuzzy feeling, don't it? MAKE IT STOP SAM MAKE IT STOP!!!! " lol

I'm feeling okay now, just groggy like I usually do when I get up. oh yes, I get migraines on a pretty regular basis. asperger pain tolerance...
okay, Ritalin's kicked in, and so has the Ibuprofen. One good thing out of this: I now know how to spell Ibuprofen correctly. Let's see, need puffer now. Did I also mention that I have Learning Disabilities too? **blinks** where the hell did that come from? hmmm, need to go pick up stuff. hmm, need clean shirt...

oy, someone remind me to come back and read this stuff when I'm not sleep deprived. I want to laugh at myself. Although I got the feeling that I'm going to be doing NaNoWriMo and will be doing Thursday all-nighters for November, cause you know, November is cram month in university. November and March are the peak months of recorded cases of depression, cause midterms and projects are due THEN. something like that. Do I make sense?

Going now, god this is long...

~Neko Baka
oh, I should show you the forum where I'm also posting this stuff, huh? Effects of Sleep Deprivation I start mine somewhere at the bottom of page two, I think... oh, one other note: it's a forum for the webmanga Kagerou How should I explain Kagerou? crazy. dunno, can't think

Some one rememind me to read this when I'm, I want to say sober, because this is probably the most drunk you'll ever find me, but no, when I'm not sleep deprived. And remind me to post my med log. It'll be fun.

oh! I can read books tonight! if I get enough work done...

~Korina

It's 1:05 pm. I'm still awake. I'm still feeling fine. a little breathless and a tad fevered, but other than that, I feel like I just didn't dream. Except for my sore eyes, that is.

Look! A lady bug!!

oy, I think I was just pranked called. Or something weird happened. The phone rang, and I picked it up, but all I got was the dial tone. So I hung up and went back to work. It rang again. I made sure that the little light on the phone was blinking, cause I don't think that I'd imagine the phone to ring. I picked it up, said hello, but there was silence. a little bit of static, and then that click sound when someone hangs up. freaky. It's got me a little on edge. I still haven't recovered from about five minutes ago I thought someone was knocking on my door. It's happened before, but I always figured that it was at someone else's. But it wouldn't stop, and it was CLOSE!!! So I go into the hall, and try to trace the sound. Turns out it was the janitor cleaning the girl's washroom, which is directly underneath my room. still, it freaked me...

course, I also jumped this morning when a door slammed, so I think maybe my nerves are on end. or something like that.

I went and got bandaids. The ones I'm wearing won't stay on! I also got my mail, a package from an old school friend who moved away to Australia. Is that spelt right? It looks wrong to me... anyways, I'm half afraid to open it, cause it's the first contact I've had with her in over five years... ekkkk!

I should be working.
damn it!

hmmm, I should really get those swiss army knives out of reach. Even well-rested I've had accidents...

damn! I took the advice about eating food, and only had a salad for lunch, but I was and still am hungry. I don't think it was wise for me to go running around campus to get my supplies, but I sort of need them and I had someone to meet... arg... my ritalin is starting to wear off, I can soooo feel it. I can't take a carry-over-to-evening though because of the fact that I took iron with my lunch! baka!

hmmm, there was something else. It was important... at least, I thought it was... oh, with my present state of mind, I got suckered into the banquet committee. I'm going to be drawing pictures for the invitations, wheeeee....

no, seriously, there's a ladybug! on the window plane!

ohhh! I just thought of something. Why didn't I think of this sooner?!! TEA!!! I'm going to drink tea tonight. ACK!! I forgot to clean my coffeemaker!!! Ack! my dishes!! I wanted to paint tonight too!!!! whaaaaa!!!

okay, going now...

~Neko Baka

4: 00 pm

Still awake. Pills wearing off. Getting dizzy. Slightly ill-feeling. I figure I need that snack. Want shower, people on MSN keep on talking and talking. Need to work. Need to write. Need to have shower, my head feels like it's oozing oil. I can still feel where I used to have bandaids on my face. I'm scratching at my face. That's real blood. awww, and I'm trying so hard to heal that!

hmmm, recalling how moody I was this morning, I'm wondering whether I should take my anti-anxiety pills tonight. Supposedly it won't do anything if I miss a dose every once in a while. I know, I've forgotten to take them before. Not much difference, just slightly more on edge. I wonder what it would be like now? tell me what you think

hmm, I'm thinking next term, trying for 72 hours, cause I don't have Monday classes then.

ah, the people have gone away.
now to be clean...

~Neko Baka


meh, small post. I bought film for my camera. yes, I'm going to take pictures while I'm sleep deprived. I dunno of though...

~Korina

TELL ME WHAT U THINK ABOUT ALL THIS!!!