Randomness in the Life of a Fool

I'm HOME!!! from RUSSIA!!! ahhhh
**snuggles into blankets** hoooooooooome!!!!
I'm supposed to be doing wash and cleaning my room and all that. Have to start getting ready for another year of school *dies* I'm going to have a roommate!

ick, my cat is purring and playful in my lap, and she just drooled on me... silly kitty.

okay, my notes from the trip:
Saiyuki manga kept me sane
building your own language is fun, especially when you can't understand what in the world is going on around you. My vocabulary became grunts and one word sentences, like "food", and "sleep" ... mostly "chocolate"
Fantasy books make me not die, as well as very interesting dreams that contain anime.
First Class seats are worth it. I actually slept, the food is great and there's choices in movies!!! movies! movies!!! wheeeeeeee!
learning about family history is depressing.
lose weight by being very picky.
doctors don't tell you everything. It's sort of nice to know that I'm supposed to be in an aerobics class with my meds. And I learned why I've been having all these nose bleeds. Blood pressure; mine gets to be very very high, over what my Grandpa's was when he died. I'm just lucky that it's nose bleeds, and that it's not a stroke. o.o But I can't have coffee anymore.
also, I learned that when I was born, my intestines were immature, so I couldn't eat anything for about a year. Doctors say that it's a miracle I lived.
learned a bit about how I like to look after people.
some really weird dreams.
saw manga in bookstore, but it was in German.
saw anime in Russia, but it's probably blackmarket, and my parents wouldn't let me buy it.
sputnik means statelite
one word: glister.
crown jewels are fun to an ADD kid who hasn't been taking her meds. SPARKLE!! SPARKLE!!!!!! same with souviner shops, mom got annoyed by my touching things.
when in doubt, switch languages
yaoiyaoiyaoiyaoi...
parents are scary.
My brother: "look! a dead fox! why are you hanging it on your wall?"
"If I promise not to try to disensemble the plane, would you let me on?"


I got to go and work now ^.^

I woke up at five am. Didn't get up till 5:30 ish. It's 5:55 now.

what the hell am I doing up? I want my sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!

the plan for today: Go to the Fitness Center and excerise there for an hour (with a BOOK!)
Clean room
4:00-4:30, pick up Veira for sleep over. ^.^

and sometime, FMA is supposed to arrive, right K-chan?
**gleeee**

yesterday, I went to see Cinnamon, and then Veira, because I had promised that I'll see them both. Cinnamon needed to talk though. But to me, it looked like she was handling it well. **slaps forehead** "never assume", right?
Well, I dragged Cinnamon and Veira over to the art store, because Mom wants me to paint a freakin' HUGE painting for the Family Room, and she wants me to check out canvas prices. They don't carry this kind of stuff at Micheal's. Nevermind that the art store has moved and so it's bigger and better than ever. I feel like I stepped into Artist heaven. High quality paint! Canvas! Brushes! Even Air Brush supplies! **swoons**

And Veira is going to let me practice using oil paint. I've never used it before, because of how freakin' long it takes to dry, and I have little patience for my art. Which is probably why I don't do details too well. The effect is of that the world from a near-sighted person.
Lately, my art has gone off in a certain direction. I'm trying to express how I see the world in art. Art is a device to invoke emotion into the viewer, and the artist is successful when he or she is able to convey the emotions that is desired by the artist. So I am trying, through my art, to express the joys and frustrations of being (a) ADD, (b) an ASpie, and (c) Learning Disabled, plus all my other medical conditions.

Off on a side note, from what I've seen and experience, it can be said that ASpies experience the condensed frustrations and fears of humans over things that they can not control. Humans like to be in control, it's just that most of us are able to take control of certain areas of their lives, the direct day-to-day stuff, and ignore the facts that they have no control over things like the weather. I don't think that ASpies have the luxury in blinding ourselves, because there are more things in the world that are beyond our control, thus more fear and frustration. It seems like I am forever telling myself that everything is all right, that just because I can find my friends at the movie theatre doesn't mean that they have abandoned me, or gotten into an accident. And that was a police car that you heard, not an ambulance (OMG!! Maybe they got mugged! or Kidnapped!)

I think that it's hard for non-ASpies to understand ASpies. Oh sure, we can figure out reactions, because it's like equations. But what is it like to not have Asperger Syndrome? Sometimes, we can dream about it. But do non-Aspies dream about being ASpie? I don't know. Can they understand what it's like? I don't know.
Too many unkowns for me. That's why I'm trying to express what it's like. We are introverts in an extrovert world, and I hear that it's really hard for extroverts to understand introverts. So I'm going to try and help them understand. Sure, there's it's frustrations and pains, but there's learning and there's wonder to look forward to.

Speaking of frustrations, why in the world do I have so many Bibles??? I don't need five copies! I don't even read ONE of them!

**blinks** oh look, the sun is up... it's almost 7am... and I'm tried!!!!!!

**looks at what she's written** oooohh! and I'm not even fully awake! **points to above** Does any of that make any sense? Tell me, okay? Supposedly I'm really good at expressing myself with words on this thing, so this is about as well as you can get to knowing me. **laugh** unless you try meeting me in RL ^.^